Being a work at home parent comes with a unique set of challenges. When we’re working we feel like we should be taking care of the household responsibilities. When we’re cleaning up we feel like we should be working. And of course there’s always the mom guilt telling us that we should be spending more time with our children having fun. “I’m too busy” becomes a constant refrain because we always feel behind. So how can we stop being busy? How can we have more time without actually adding more hours to the day?
why my laptop breaking was the best thing for me
I have been blogging for over eight years. Although I have a fancy-schmancy website now, I blogged for quite awhile before ever spending a cent on anything blog-related. I promised myself I would not spend money on my blog until I made some. So it wasn’t until the Fall of 2016 (several months after I’d rebranded and become self-hosted with WordPress) that I purchased a laptop and I was so proud. I thought for sure that every blogger needed to have their own computer for work. And this was going to make a world of difference in my blogging. I wouldn’t have to be sequestered in our master bedroom (where our desk and computer were). I’d be able to work on it anywhere.
the reality was different than I imagined
You know what happened? I worked on it everywhere. My laptop was always on the kitchen counter and on all day. I would work on blog posts and Pinterest images and social media scheduling. If I was home I was working probably about 75% of the time. Even between homeschool lessons and going over math problems. My laptop would come on every trip, because I was convinced I needed to have access to work files just in case. Quite honestly, I couldn’t stop being busy. I felt busy, busy, busy, but was never able to get ahead.
Fast forward to last Fall when my laptop died. To be honest, it had already survived some tough drops and I didn’t spend that much money on it in the first place. I feel like I got my money’s worth so I really can’t complain. Nevertheless, I was so distraught. Once I had figured out how to save all my files I started shopping around for the best deal I could get. Obviously I had to buy a new laptop right away–right? I mean, I could use our desktop in the meantime but that would NOT work long term. I needed a working laptop for work so I could stop being busy.
what actually happened
One day turned into a weekend which turned into a month and before I knew it it was 2019. And yes–I do plan to purchase a new laptop eventually but I have no immediate plans. I have found I really don’t miss it that much. Somehow, I’m still able to get all my work done and then some. My husband has to use it in the evenings to do his charts after work. Since I know that my time on the desktop is limited I’m more focused when I use it. I limit distractions and am able to do more than I did before with less time. Because of this I don’t feel so needlessly busy.
the lie about being “busy”
Recently I discovered that I was using the word “busy” wrong. I was listening to my friend Brandilyn talk about being busy. She mentioned that she wasn’t using the word anymore and all of a sudden something clicked. See, when we say we’re “too busy” for this or that, what we’re really saying is that it’s not a priority for us. After hearing Brandilyn talking about that nasty “b” word (busy) I decided I would not use the word for a week and see what happened.
Mike and I have always believed that we have time and money in life for the things that we prioritize. As Keith B. McMullin said–
“One challenge seems universal–having enough time to do everything that needs doing. Among those who have few resources, the need is for more time to secure the necessities of life. Among those who have sufficient, the need is for more time to attend to the niceties of life. The challenge is daunting because time is fixed; man can neither lengthen out the day nor extend the year.
Keith B. McMullin
The world is the culprit. As the world grapples with more efficient ways of managing time, it lures us into more and more earthly pursuits. Life is not a struggle with time. It is a struggle between good and evil.”
Everyone is “busy”, everyone has a lot on their plates, and everyone’s time is valuable. Despite what we like to think, our situation is (usually) not unique and we’re not the only one struggling. It can be hard to take an honest look at ourselves and question what we spend our time on. Where is our focus? What is our priority?
stop being busy now
So what happened when I stopped using the word busy all the time? Quite honestly, more than I expected. I stopped saying things like “today was SO busy!”; instead I changed it to “today was really productive!” I stopped thinking I was “too busy” for a certain activity and would instead think of how I could prioritize my time to make it happen if it was important to me. I stopped saying that this was a “busy season” or “busy time” and instead started thinking that this was “full season” or “full time”. Maybe it’s all semantics, but making that conscious effort to have a mind shift makes a huge impact on your life.
As I discovered when my laptop broke, somehow when you make the decision to stop being busy you’re actually able to get more done! It’s not about how much time you have, it’s about what you get done with the time that you have.
