I’m not going to lie, the past year has been rough in a lot of ways. As I sat around thinking of all the ways that “this isn’t fair” I was reminded of what Mike and I always tell our kids–“Life isn’t fair. Different people get different things at different times.” “You are in charge of how you feel. You can choose to be happy or choose to be upset.” But is that true? Is joy some tangible thing that can be lost and found? If you’re struggling with this I think it’s safe to say that you’re not alone. Today I wanted to discuss with you how to find joy–even when it’s hard.

how to find joy

There’s no textbook on how to find joy and no surefire plan to make it happen. I’ll be the first to admit that even knowing all the “tips and tricks” to finding joy doesn’t mean it always happens. But over time as you practice these four things I truly believe that you will find more joy in your daily life!

make sure your needs are met

Have you ever heard the phrase, “you can’t fill from an empty vessel?” Well it’s true! If you’re exhausted or stressed then it’s hard to feel joy. And I’m not even talking about the oh-so-popular drive for “self care”. I’m just talking about basic human needs. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking time to eat properly–and I’m not talking about the scraps leftover from your child’s lunch. I’m not saying you should be selfish or self-centered. But just like in an airplane where we’re told to put on our own mask in case of emergency before we can help others, we need to first make sure that we are taking care of ourselves.

| Check out this post for tips to avoid feeling busy! |

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.”

—Joseph Campbell

have an attitude of gratitude

I have found that there is no faster way to change your attitude than to practice gratitude. I’m sure you can find that on a needlepoint pillow somewhere. Sometimes this is easier said than done. When I’m in a funk and feeling sorry for myself the last thing I want to do is realize that actually my life isn’t all that bad. I know, I know–why would I want to wallow? But it seems to be human nature to focus on the negative and not think about all the blessings you really do have in your life.

Try thinking of three things at each mealtime that you’re thankful for, but they have to be different from each other! That way, at the end of the day you’ll realize you have nine things to feel gratitude for in your life. another option is to keep a daily note in your phone and every time you think of something you’re grateful for jot it down, then review it at the end of the day. Or keep a gratitude journal where each day you focus on one thing you’re grateful for. It can really change your perspective!

serve others when you can

Remember how the first thing we talked about was taking care of your own needs. Not your wants, but your needs? Once your needs are met then turn your focus outwards! When you lose yourself in the service of others it’s hard not to feel joyful. My biggest tip for how to find joy? You can literally find it by searching justserve.org to find ways to give service in your area, oftentimes right from your own home!

| Read this post for ideas on how to give service with your kids! |

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.”

—Khalil Gibran

focus on the here and now

If 2020 taught us anything it’s that the old saying “if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans” is completely true. Try not to worry about what’s going to happen in the next year, or the next five years. What do you need to accomplish now? How can you can you make your current situation better?

In 2020 we had a summer road trip we’d been planning for a year that got cancelled last minute. I was so angry about the situation and just wanted to wallow in my misery. It didn’t seem fair and since it was completely out of my control I didn’t feel like I could do anything to make it better. Then I realized I did have a little control. In a manner of days we were able to plan a different trip that turned out to be an incredible experience for us. It wasn’t anything like our original plans but our family still felt a lot of joy in our new situation!

How do you find joy? What do you struggle with the most? What can you work on this month?