I’m sure you are all aware of the heartache that has filled our news feeds the past few weeks. You would literally have to be living under a rock without a smartphone in sight to have not heard of a boy falling into a gorilla enclosure, a mass shooting in Orlando, or a tragic accident involving a two-year-old boy and an alligator.

Other than the sadness over lives lost, these incidents don’t appear to have much in common. However, if you dig a little deeper you will find that they all do have one major thread that ties them all together.

Condemnation.

Condemnation is the evil stepmother to judgment. Whereas making judgments to some degree is not necessarily a bad thing, when we condemn someone we are acting as judge, jury, and executioner. That is not our job, and we should be so thankful of that.

It’s human nature to be curious. It’s human nature to be confused, to be concerned, and even to be outraged. But there is a difference between concern and condemnation.

Just stop it.

It has been said a thousand different ways by a multitude of voices:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

“People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

When a four-year-old child fell into a gorilla enclosure at a zoo and the gorilla had to be put down, people were quick to place blame. “If the mother had been more observant.” “If the zoo had better safeguards.” “If we didn’t even have zoos in the first place.”

Maybe one of these things is true, maybe all of them, maybe none of them. We don’t know. We weren’t there. (I won’t go into the lunacy behind the argument against all zoos and aquariums; that’s not the point of this post.) I even read one comment from someone who placed the blame on the four-year-old child who had the audacity to fall in. What?! I have a four year old myself and the thought of someone holding a child her age responsible for what happened at the Cincinnati Zoo almost makes my blood boil. They are children. I’m not saying they can do no wrong, but let’s keep things in perspective people.

Just stop it.

After the mass shooting at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando a Sacramento Baptist Preacher spouted out some vile hate speech in a sermon. I won’t go into details because I don’t want to add to his 15 seconds of fame. What he said is despicable. But maybe what’s worse is that afterwards I heard that other groups were going to “protest” his next sermon.

Oh, that’s great people. Rather than letting what he said fall to the wayside as he fades back into obscurity let’s add fuel to the fire. Let’s fight hate and bigotry with, um, oh, how about more hate. Sounds like a plan.

Just stop it.

The headline that has hit hardest with me has been the two-year-old who was drowned by an alligator while his family was on vacation at Disney World. Even as I type this I feel sick, my heart heavy in my chest. I have a two-year-old and I know how she can be. Being a parent is tough and even when you are most attentive terrible things can happen. When I heard about this happening my first feeling was compassion. I never knew that I could experience so much love and empathy for a complete stranger. I held my toddler that night and I wept.

So imagine my surprise when I heard that their family was getting backlash for what had happened to their son. This family is going through the worst pain imaginable and at the same time are being poked and prodded with harsh words and judgments.

Just stop it.

Times of trouble, times of heartache, times of uncertainty, they should bind us together and make us stronger. They should bring out the best in us, not the worst. We should offer compassion, not enmity. There seems to be a common misconception that everyone has to agree with everyone else about everything. Would you like to know a secret? We can disagree with someone, adamantly even, and still love them. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. We can have different beliefs and opinions and still care about each other and treat one another with compassion.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying that everything is an accident, that no one is ever at fault for anything. I’m not saying that we should just quietly sit by and let truly terrible things happen. But maybe, just maybe, we should love a little more. In today’s world it is so easy to be self-righteous and all-knowing, sitting behind the safety of our computer screens and smartphones. But as you’re watching something unfold that you feel you know so much about perched in your chair halfway around the country or world, before you say, “I’d never…” or “I always…”…

Just stop it.