Yesterday Mike and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. I feel like that’s fairly significant considering the average length for the marriage in the United States right now is just 8 years. Especially with six little ones it can be hard to find time for each other and show love to your spouse. Here are some easy ways to keep the love alive–in a way they’ll appreciate and understand.
the five love languages
Do you know your spouse’s love language? I read the book The Five Love Languages a few years ago and found it fascinating. Before I even finished the book I knew there was something to the love languages. I had known for awhile that Mike and I had different ideas about what showed each other love and appreciation.
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“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?” We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”
-Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
I had assumed for years that he was just unromantic, as some people are. But after reading The Five Love Languages I realized that he just had a very different idea of how to show his love. In fact, he had probably had the same thoughts about me! It was obvious that we both had completely different love languages and knowing that is the key to being able to show your spouse love in a way they’ll understand. Not only that, but it will be more meaningful for them as well.
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ways to show your spouse love
Once you know your spouse’s love language it’s easier to pick the particular things that will show your souse love the most.
- Continue to date each other, even if it’s in your own home.
- Travel together–without kids if possible.
- Text or call your spouse throughout the day.
- Always greet them with a smile at the end of the day.
- Take a minute to verbally express your appreciation for something they’ve done.
- Take on a “chore” your spouse would normally do.
- Surprise them with a special meal you don’t normally make.
- Support your spouse in their work endeavors.
- Perform an act of service for them–wash their car, run an errand, etc.
- Put down your phone and focus on them for awhile.
- Give your spouse a foot or shoulder massage.
- Sometimes simple is best–don’t forget to tell your spouse you love them!
- Be the one to initiate intimacy if you’re not typically the one who does.
- Talk to them about something other than kids or work.
What ways do you show your spouse love daily?
