Social media can be really great sometimes… and sometimes not. Have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s not so, well, social? For everyone that complains about trying to find community, it actually seems to me that most people are in it for themselves. Community is often faked with comment pods and bought followers. Personally, I don’t have time to play that game. Today I’m sharing some of the reasons why I may have unfollowed you on Instagram. Let me know if you can relate.
An analogy of why I unfollowed you on Instagram–
I grew up in Orange County in southern California. Home of beaches, palm trees, surfing, and just about an hour south of world-famous Hollywood (well, an hour if there’s no traffic, but there is always traffic). And, like 75% of children and teenagers in southern California (that number might be an over or under exaggeration, I really have no idea), I had an agent (or two) and would go out on auditions periodically. When you go to auditions and you’re only getting called back for about 1 in every 20 that you go out on it can start to play on your self-esteem.
What did I do wrong? Am I not pretty enough? Not skinny enough? Do I just totally suck at this acting thing?
My mom, in her infinite mom wisdom, used to say, “You can’t take it personally. It’s like trying to match a couch to wallpaper.” What she meant was that there are thousands of couches out there that are really nice. However, if someone’s looking for something to match their wallpaper and be a good fit in their homes then they might have to turn down a lot of really lovely, perfectly good couches.
That in no way means it’s the fault of the couch, it just wasn’t the right couch for that wallpaper.
It’s not you, it’s me. No, really.
So that’s the way I’ve tried to approach social media. My Instagram account isn’t for everyone. It’s not perfectly curated and it might not be relatable to you and your life. And that’s okay.
It’s understandable if you do take it personally, after all, it’s your life. Especially on the Instagram platform where you’re sharing your home, your children, your outfits, your meals–hundreds of little components that represent the life you want to share with the world. So if people aren’t liking your photos then they obviously don’t like you, right?
| Read: Creating Community Online with the Magical Media Retreat |
Wrong. You just haven’t come across the right people. You just haven’t found the right wallpaper for your couch yet.
I would love for other people to feel the same way–please don’t place your value or your worth in your stats and don’t take it personally that you can’t please everyone. I hope everyone knows that I so appreciate every follow, like, comment, and repost–even if I don’t follow you back. However, just in case you were wondering, here are some reasons why I might have unfollowed you from Instagram–or why I never followed you back in the first place.
why I really unfollowed you on Instagram
your follow/follower ratio
We’ve all been there, the social media influencer with 60K followers follows us and it feels so good, right? Especially since they only follow 500 people in the first place. Wow, I guess my account really spoke to them! But then, a week later they follow you again… wait, weren’t they already following me? You’ve become a victim of the follow/unfollow game and yeah, it kind of sucks. Let’s just say there are some dead giveaways that you use this method and if I can tell you do, I’m unlikely to follow you back. Especially if you didn’t even bother to like any of my pictures when you followed me. Why would you want to follow someone on Instagram if you don’t like their pictures??
On the other side of things, you might be following twice as many people as are following you. I find a picture of yours that I connect with (Hey, another Diet Coke lover! She gets me!), I like some of your photos and decide to follow your account. You never follow me back and yet you follow just about everyone. In that case I’m going to assume that something in my feed has offended you in some way and I’ll kindly unfollow you to save you from being annoyed every time I like one of your posts. Okay, so I’m being a little sarcastic here, but you get what I’m saying??
you never show up in my feed
If I unfollowed you on Instagram then it’s possible you never show up in my feed. When I come across your account I’m surprised to see that I’m following you because your pictures don’t look familiar to me at all. I can’t remember the last time I liked one of your photos or the last time you liked on of mine. We’re obviously ghost followers on each other’s account. It’s really better for both of our engagement ratios if we just cut ties now.
you show up in my feed too much
I’m sorry if this offends someone, but I don’t really want to see the same person in my feed 10 times in a row. I think that’s great that you’re so proud of your child in tee-ball or you’re really excited about the wildflower you found or you think selfies are the coolest thing ever. However pick your favorite one and move on. Or use the carousel feature. Or put it on InstaStories. But please, don’t spam my feed with a bunch of pictures that are essentially the same thing. If I look at your account and I notice you’ve shared 4,000 Instagram posts in 6 months then I’m probably not going to follow you back.
you’re all about the MLM life
Hey, I get it, you’re trying to build a business. You’re a momma trying to make ends meet. You love what you do. I think that’s so great, I really do! But if every single one of your posts is devoted to selling a product that’s destined to make me skinnier, healthier, or more beautiful overnight… I’m probably not going to follow you. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few ladies I follow who are super active in an MLM. However, they sell their products so well, it doesn’t even seem like they’re trying to sell anything! And they always share some of their personal lives too so I can feel a connection to them. I’m also not interested in joining your team, but I really appreciate you thinking I’d be great at it, you’re so sweet!
you don’t share anything about yourself
I love connecting with people on Instagram. Really, I feel like out of all the forms of social media it’s the easiest way to really see into someone’s life. I think most of my blogging and online friends that I’ve met have been through Instagram. So if you don’t share anything personal about your life or all you do is repost other people’s picture (unless you’re a feature account) or if you never caption your images, I’m probably not going to feel any kind of connection to you and I’m unlikely to follow you.
What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Or do you feel the same way?
