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when motherhood is hard

Today I have some thoughts for you that are… different… then what I would normally share. And they’re messy. They’re a rambling, and at times incoherent, mess, but I felt like this was something that I needed to get out there. I’ve learned to listen to promptings in my life, even if I don’t fully understand the reason behind them.

 

Motherhood parenthood

 

The other day I was texting with a friend and she wrote that I was her #momgoals, that she felt like I was so on top of everything and organized. I was extremely flattered, but also shocked that she thought so.

The honest, raw truth is that I have been struggling. I don’t remember ever feeling like this before in my life. To start with, I have had zero motivation, which I think we all go through at one time or another, but this is different. It’s not like I’ve had no motivation in a certain aspect of my life (like blogging or completing house projects), but everything has seemed like too much lately.

Have you ever looked around and realized that you aren’t finding joy in things anymore? Stay with me on the train of thought here…

I was sitting in my house after the kids had gone to bed the other night, but before my husband got home (he has been working long hours with his new job lately) and as I sat there in the quiet I tried to think about when the last time I made cupcakes was. This might sound silly to you, who cares about cupcakes? Okay, first of all, don’t even go there, they’re cupcakes, everyone should care about them. Secondly, you have to realize that for me that is a big deal. I probably used to make cupcakes every week, I love baking and cupcakes are pretty much the happiest, cutest little dessert that one can whip up. Yet, I’m barely even getting three meals on the table each day, let alone having the motivation to bake and then have to clean it up. No thank you.

Blogging… I don’t even know where to begin… I’m really struggling with getting thoughts down lately. Last week I didn’t even blog my normal three times and I offer no excuse like I normally would. I just didn’t feel like it, plain and simple. I actually have a post all ready to go that’s been in my draft folder for months, but the thought of actually hitting publish and then promoting that post just seemed far too overwhelming as the week came to a close.

 

Motherhood parenthood children

 

Our gorgeous master bathroom remodel still has not made it to the blog, which is so sad to me because that space is now my favorite in my house. I haven’t shared it yet because I haven’t taken pictures yet because I haven’t painted the trim yet. Just the trim y’all, I could knock that out during a naptime but it’s like I literally don’t have any energy to get it done. I have painted the whole interior of our house (some spaces twice) and I’m just so done.

I have emails to respond to and special orders to make and blog posts to shoot and write and edit; but the place where I feel like I’m struggling the hardest right now is where my personal life is concerned.

I have said before that you are the perfect parent for your children, because you are who Heavenly Father picked and that should be all that matters. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, especially where your family is concerned. Here’s the thing though, it’s one thing to know that, and it’s another to believe it 100% of the time.

I have been feeling inadequate as a wife and mother lately. I think that I maybe didn’t even realize that’s what the root of the problem was until I wrote it out just now. The fact that household and family responsibilities keep getting pushed further and further back is the thing that bothers me the most.

 

Motherhood parenthood children

 

My house should be cleaner and more organized, I should be more on top of lesson planning and my son’s piano lessons, I should be doing more fun activities with my kids, I should be getting back to meal planning. The to-do list is never-ending and if you’re feeling the same way I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, unmotivated, and unhappy.

I know what it’s like to go to your cry spot in the house and let it out.

I know what  it’s like to be exhausted, mentally and physically.

When motherhood is hard remember this–motherhood is not about being Pinterest Perfect or showing everyone how you #liveauthentic in your perfect little squares. Please don’t be fooled into thinking that everyone else has their act together and you stand alone in your uncertainty.

When motherhood is hard switch things up–go for a drive, get some takeout, start your spring cleaning, write your thoughts down, maybe even ramble in a 900+ word blog post…

Most importantly, when motherhood is hard do whatever you have to do to find joy and choose it.

Be believing, be happy, don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”   -Gordon B. Hinckley

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19 Responses to when motherhood is hard

  1. Dara March 13, 2017 at 7:25 am #

    I definitely know how it feels to have things feel like too much. Things get overwhelming every so often here too.

  2. Stephanie March 13, 2017 at 7:44 am #

    Motherhood can be so so hard on a person. I have just one little one to keep alive and well it’s hard with just him some days. I love your heart, your honesty and your spirit.

  3. Danielle March 13, 2017 at 9:20 am #

    oh my goodness, all the yesses dear friend. It’s like you’re in my head! Thank you for sharing! It’s funny, since my mantra for this month (and I have a feeling it will carry into the following months) is to “chose joy”.

  4. Emily Bogner March 13, 2017 at 11:17 am #

    Love this honest post so much! And love you, my friend! Motherhood is such a challenge and I’m thankful for this reminder that I’m the best parent for my child. Also, this quote from President Hinckley is one of my favorites, my mom has repeated it many times throughout my life–it’s a very special, comforting quote.

  5. Whitney March 13, 2017 at 1:00 pm #

    This is beautiful Justine. Some seasons just feel harder. And thats ok. Give yourself grace, right?! Hope you are feeling a little less overwhelmed and finding your mojo again. Sending hugs.

  6. Ashley Newell March 13, 2017 at 3:28 pm #

    I’m pushing really hard to find joy. I’ve lost a lot of joy lately and I realized that I need to push harder to find it instead of waiting for it to come to me. It’s been rough.

  7. Shani | Sunshine & Munchkins March 13, 2017 at 9:19 pm #

    Big, fat YES! I’ve felt a lot of these feelings, especially over the last three months as I’ve dealt with a third miscarriage, finding out my sister is pregnant, seasonal depression, a new calling that I can’t figure out what to do with, and the list goes on. I hate feeling like I’m failing and that I don’t have it all together. I admire you for putting this out there Justine. As Elder Holland said, “To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle–and all will–I say, be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.” Hang in there my friend. 🙂

  8. Lindsey March 14, 2017 at 12:18 pm #

    Hugs mama… Love that you’re my fellowship girl too. Wish we could grab coffee because apparently we’re totally on the same wave length!!! :* :* :*

  9. Patricia March 15, 2017 at 10:29 am #

    Thank you for being so honest here. Many of your thoughts are mine as well. This has been a tough season for me and it seems prolonged and it’s been a struggle. Sending you virtually hugs and thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone.

  10. Paige Rodriguez March 15, 2017 at 2:43 pm #

    This might be my favorite post of yours, love. I hear you on all of this. I bounced onto your instagram today, which led me here, because I’ve been meaning to tell you thank you so much for your sweet gift and hand-written note. I said I’d write one back but I can relate so deeply with this post that I have no excuse but that I haven’t gotten my ducks in a row long enough to do it and I wish I could be one of those Pinterest mom’s but I really don’t think it will ever happen at this point lol. But know that it was so very appreciated and given the fact that you’re swept in your own storm, it is appreciated even more. You’re a beautiful soul and you are understood, mama. Xoxo

  11. Liz March 15, 2017 at 7:12 pm #

    Alllllll the yes girl. Yes. I fully agree. I’ve just been giving myself grace lately. If I don’t want to blog, I don’t. If I want to watch tv, I do. I have emails backed up for a week that I haven’t responded to. My house is a mess (not in a big sty type of way, but just clutter), but I just have no motivation to clean it. I feel ya. I feel like I just need a “me” day to get back into the swing of things, but I just haven’t found the time for that yet… =/

  12. Leslie @ This is For Keeps March 16, 2017 at 1:30 pm #

    I love this post so much, Justine! It’s so easy to feel like a failure and like every other mother out there has it all together. It’s nice to have a reminder that we all feel the same way sometimes.

  13. Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries August 17, 2017 at 11:33 am #

    I feel like this a lot, that I just don’t have the energy to do those things, too. But I always remind myself that all my daughter really wants is for me to be happy, too. It helps me when things get tough. And that all moms feel like this at one time or another!

  14. Madi August 17, 2017 at 9:11 pm #

    I can so relate to this. Sometimes motherhood can be so overwhelming. Sometimes I have to just sit back and not worry or be anxious about the things out of my control!

  15. Kate August 18, 2017 at 1:49 am #

    Thank you for honestly! I can relate to this SO much! It’s literally a cycle for me every couple of months to just be unmotivated and over it! So glad it’s not just me sometimes!

  16. Aseky Bonnaire August 18, 2017 at 12:09 pm #

    I can relate to this on SO MANY levels. Right now I’m listening to my 2 year old scream from his bedroom as he refuses his much needed nap. Motherhood is hard and overwhelming at times, but it’s all just a season. When my 8 month old is crying because he ONLY wants to held by me, my 2 year old is trashing the house, and my 4 year old is constantly asking for something to eat/drink, I remind myself, there will be a day none of them will need me like that anymore. Whenever that day comes, I’ll look back at this season I was in, cringe a bit but remember how stressful it was but everything worked out, the house was eventually cleaned, that blog post was eventually posted and my 2 year old napped!
    This was so beautiful, and hang in there mama ❤️

  17. Kristian August 19, 2017 at 4:24 am #

    Hugs Momma! I can totally relate! I sometimes slack off of everything because I just don’t have it in me and then of course I feel guilty. I needed that reminder that we are the perfect parent for our child, I sometimes doubt myself. Beautiful post!

  18. Janette August 19, 2017 at 4:52 pm #

    This!! Yes! I’ve been really trying to remember that sometimes, my best is good enough! I think that quote applies to all people and all things! We don’t need to be amazing! Sometimes, we just need to be ok!

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